Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
