I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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