i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
