Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
