Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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