i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
