I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
