I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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