She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
