He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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