I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
