doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
