I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
