i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
