you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize