My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
We need to rekindle our bromance
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
