i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize