whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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