dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
