Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."