Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
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And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
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I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.