If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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