Umm I'm too high to move.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize