Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
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I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.