did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
