It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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