I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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