Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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