Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
