pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
