Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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