Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
