Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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