I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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