i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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