I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
