it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
