I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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