so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Can I color on your dick again?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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