He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize