you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
