Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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