He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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