Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
