google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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