Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
