i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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