I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
