I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
