Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
