I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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