he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
