when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i don't like sucking hair
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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