I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize