I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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