WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize