I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize