You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
