Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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