So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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