i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
