i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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