Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
