You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
