I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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