Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
