maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
