when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
