I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
